Yes, one of those really annoying future-moms who is happy to be pregnant.
Who waddles all proud and smiley and enjoys the attention.
Who reads tons of pregnancy books. Blogs. Articles.
Takes childbirth classes.
Childcare classes. (There was one to be exact. Where you get the feeling that if you know how to swaddle an ugly plastic doll you have all the skills you need as a new parent).
Breastfeeding classes.
Who knows so much about birth, she could probably be a doula herself.
Ask me anytime about spinning babies, birth plans, the pros and cons of drugs during labor, pushing positions, vitamins and fish-oil, ways to speed up labor or induce it naturally, fetal monitoring, Penny Simkin, birth balls, delayed cord-clamping, skin-to-skin, signs of a good latch...I could go on and on.
I had it all figured out.
I was confident.
I knew what I wanted.
I was dellusional.
Here are some of my plans. And what actually happened (WAH).Plan: Giving birth with zero drugs, all naturally, without interventions.
WAH: Sweet epidural. Worked perfectly. No bad consequences. (I did get it fairly late during the birth as recommended by some sources and I will always think that for me, it was the right thing.)
Plan: Having a skin-to-skin with the baby the moment she is born.
WAH: She came out all covered in poop. Screaming all the way. She needed a serious clean-up.
Plan: Focus on baby after birth. Start bonding.
WAH: I was hungry. Food first please, then baby. (Ok, we did cuddle a bit and I ate while she was given a bath but seriously, I was famished after all those hours.)
Plan: Keeping her in the room with me all the time (the Big Book says both mother and baby sleep better this way. To that I say: Hah!).
WAH: I did keep her with me. I couldn't sleep. Kept staring at her. Nice doctor lady said I should send her to the nursery and it would not make me a bad mother.
So I did.
Once. For two hours.
Probably the most sleep I got that first month.
Lesson learned.
Plan: Breastfeed exclusively.
WAH: Yep, that happened. Because she refused anything else later.
Plan: Do not use pacifier.
WAH: Yep, this happened too. But because Loud Baby has never accepted one, even when we tried for quite a long time. It's a good teether now, though.
Plan: At home, baby will sleep in her crib right next to us
(Haha, that's a good one!)
WAH: She slept with me. Daddy got stranded in the living room on a very bad futon. With the cat.
Plan: I will make my own baby food from organic ingredients.
WAH: Thank God for Gerber, Ella's Kitchen, Sprout and Earth's Best. I did make a couple of portions when I had the time and energy. A rare combination.
Plan: I will use cloth diapers after the first month or so.
WAH: I have exactly four cloth diapers. Taking down the laundry to the basement turned out to be a bigger inconvenience than what it seemed at first. Actually, going down with the hamper was pretty much my only break from momminess in the first months. A luxury.
Plan: I will be loving, patient and calm. (Oh gee).
WAH: I was exhausted, anxious, scared, crazy, confused and constantly thinking "This can't be right.".
Now that the first year is over and done and Loud Baby is a toddler everything is different.
And I have a new set of plans.
In short, it consist of these two things: love the baby and do what it takes to enjoy the good moment and get through the bad one.
It's all measured in moments.
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