Ch-ch-changes

When you have a little one, certain topics that were pretty much tabu or gross before the baby, become part of everyday experience and conversation.

Stuff like poop, vomit, spit-up, drooling, boogers, chewed food, diarrhea...

As a Mommy, you simply become immune to it and you wonder why people give you the look when you smell your little one's tush in the park in order to detect poop or use saliva to wipe away dried-on cracker crumbs from their cheek

It's just the way it is.

Not glamorous.

But highly practical and quick.

And "practical" and "quick" is what you are aiming for 99% of the time with anything that involves resolving a problem with your toddler. 

In Mommy Land you're pretty much in charge of everything, including the yucky things.

You deal with poop multiple times a day, for example, and if you didn't get any on yourself, that's something to be happy about.

In fact, diaper changing evolves as baby grows.

Luckily, Loud Baby has always loved her changing table.

(Except for a brief period of time after she just learned to roll over. I had to improvise and change her while she was on her tummy. Challenging at first, easy after 2-3 attempts).

Back then the whole process seemed simple.

Put baby on table.

Open lower buttons of sleeper (she was in sleepers most of the time. Love those things).

Remove diaper.

Wipe ... area.

Put on new diaper.

Close buttons.

Done.

Nowadays, it's a different story.

First, when I know a diaper change is coming up I check the table to see if I have sufficient entertaining supplies at hand.

A simple plastic mouse is not enough.

That stuff needs to be interesting and distractive.

Preferably interactive.

And it also has to be restocked with new things periodically.

Like every 2 days.

Right now I am armed with:

a small board book;

a thermometer with two buttons that beep and colours light up on the screen;

a huge red pen with a cap;

an empty baby food pouch with a cap;

another simple thermometer that has a transparent box with a cap;

(yes, we are in the cap-phase)

a clean make-up brush;

a watch that doesn't work.

So after I make sure the selection of entertaining products is abundant, I go pick up baby.

This usually results in loud protests.

After all, I am interrupting.

So I give her the speech:

"I know you were having fun and I interrupted you. You are upset now. But we need to change diapey. After that Mommy will take you back to your toys".

I place her on the changing table and quickly give her one of the super-objects.

She might take that and  get busy.

Or she might throw it away.

Or she may point at another object from the basket of goodies.

And another one.

This might take awhile.

Still, most of the time she will settle on one or two.

This is my chance.

Operation quick-diapey-change begins:

remove pants;

open onesie;

remove diaper;

wipe;

wipe again;

provide new distraction object in between so as to...;

...make sure Loud Baby keeps her hands out of problem-zone;

(maybe sing a song to show Loud Baby how ...um...casual I am);

put on new diaper, preferably not backwards;

close onesie (if she begins stirring at this point I will settle with buttoning 2 out of 3 buttons).

Around this time Loud Baby is done.

She wants down.

If I am lucky, the diaper is in place.

So I put her down and toddle after her with the pants in my hands waiting for the right moment to put them on.

I usually succeed fairly quickly, while she is standing and looking at something.

All done.

Easy as
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